Smith, Alberta, Canada

Smith is a small "hamlet" far enough away from "civilization" and near enough to the bush to make it calm and relaxing to walk around or be a "shut in" if one chooses...which I usually do. During the winter there isn't much to do and it's too cold to go out for any longer walks. I really know very little about the "social" activities available because I really do not join in on anything due to my Social Phobia and my Depression.

Since moving out here, I have found a decent doctor who is actually trying to help me figure out what's up with me and what treatments I require. I have recently been diagnosed with high cholesterol, possible small blood vessel damage in my brain and high blood pressure. My doctor has given me more information about the possibility of another stroke and what I need to do to decrease that chance. I must quit smoking, keep losing weight and get better, more frequent, exercise. So far, I have not gained any significant weight this winter and have been able to walk more and help out around my mom's. Next week I will be trying Champix to quit smoking. I'm hoping it works for me.

The usual Depression is not as severe this year, mostly I believe to the lack of stress and people around here. I've only broke down once or twice and then not for long. I am still thinking too much about what others think of me and missing my "inspirational friend" who often got me thinking a lot deeper and looking at my faults more. There have been a few days where i really wanted to reach out but know that is wrong as I am unwelcome by that person.I have managed to keep a lot of the "negative" thoughts and emotions "bottled up" or "put away". Mostly I just haven't felt as "negative" here as I did in the city. Perhaps because when I do I can take a walk or talk things out with mom. In fact the only "major" stress in my life right now is being homeless and my health.

I do wish I could find a place of  my own. I also wish I could forget somethings / people and not forget so many others. Perhaps I will forget once spring and summer are here and I can get busy with a garden , the lake and take longer walks again.

Overall I am pretty confident that moving up here has led to an improvement in my Depression and will lead to an improvement in my health.