Some More Crap (?) About Me

Not sure anyone cares or wants to know, besides my daughter(maybe), but thought I`d share a bit more about myself here.

How do I see myself as a person?
First and foremost as a mother of four adult women and granny of three wonderful grandchildren. Then as a daughter of and interesting and popular woman, who is worth every minute I spend helping! Next as a sister of some pretty messed up but not totally worthless, instead interesting and entertaining siblings.
As an individual... I see myself as a pretty messed up person who is just trying to survive this world and do something worthwhile with the stuff I've learned throughout many incidents in life. Yes, screwed up pretty much is my first thought about myself; but, I hope someday I can see past that and glimpse the person that the few friends I've had throughout my life have described to me as me.

My goals in this thing we call life?
Live each day without giving into the pain and insanity.....and that pretty much takes most of my energy and concentration. In fact many times it takes more than I have in me to battle the insanity in this diseased/damaged brain I have { and unfortunately most people can't understand or see past that;-(}.
Help whomever and wherever I can, regardless of the emotional pain that sometimes leads me into.
Care about family and friends and try to contribute something worthwhile to their lives.
Learn and get to know God.
Survive, survive, survive!

The most important things to me in life?
Family - first and foremost I've always felt that family is the best people in my life and are the most important people to help and satisfy.
Teaching - whoever wants to learn whatever I know. All you have to do is ask!
               - children that every person can care and treat them with respect and to care about themselves and others!
Learning - everything and anything I can about life, mental illness, native culture, God, God, beliefs of others and thoughts of others.

My biggest failures:
Learning to be a friend!
Socializing!
Forgiving myself!
Sometimes I think as a mother I screwed up quite a bit; but I can't say I failed as my girls are alive and doing pretty good for themselves and others.

My thoughts on friendship:
Though I have posted many, many notes, on FB, and blogs, on here, I've never really taken the time to write about the people I would like to be friends with. These people are those who can care about someone besides themselves,; those who are patient, understanding, forgiving and can overlook eccentricities {craziness}! Also, I would like to meet those who actually wish to take the time to converse once in a while without me having to initiate it.
Mostly, I need friends who understand that I am NOT a mind reader and not  very good at the whole social interaction continuum.

Any questions for me feel free to message me on FB or through this blog!