Sleep Issues & Stuff

For the past year I've been having difficulty sleeping. I either don't sleep enough or sleep too much. Whichever it is, when I sleep it's mostly tossing and turning and waking up several times. When I don't sleep enough it's because I give up and get online on Facebook or start watching videos.
All these problems with sleep are just contributing to the depression. When I talked to my doctor about it he said "It's an age thing". Well, gee doc, thanks for the help.
Often I go 2 nights without sleep and then sleep for an entire day and night. Can't get anything done this way. Although my mother is trying to be understanding and supportive, I feel like she wants me to just work it out as soon as possible and get back to helping her with the garden and stuff. I would love to do that!
Tonight is the second night I've been awake most of the night. It really screws with my thought process and right now I'd love to go to sleep. However, I am getting night sweats as well as having trouble staying asleep.
So, I thought I'd write a bit on here, since I've already been on FB and can't concentrate enough to play games.

The Depression is fluctuating now. I'm going through a gradual increase in medication. It is helping, because I've been having less suicidal thoughts and am better able to curtail those thoughts that lead to a deeper Depression when they start to pop into my head. I just wish I was finished the increases already and stable enough to work things out !

A few days ago, maybe a week, I wrote a couple of blogs when I was really depressed.I mentioned someone I use to be friends with on FB. He has since disappeared from FB. I still think about how poorly I treated him and visa-verse. I hope I was not the cause of his disappearance. Thinking about him just depresses me further.

Best to think of my girls. I have not heard from my oldest for months, except a very brief, Happy Mother's Day. I have not seen her or her kids for over a year. My second oldest, Amanda, has moved to B.C. She is doing well and I hope things work out for her there. I am a little concerned about he third oldest, Jennifer, as she seems to be struggling with a few issues right now. However, I have confidence that she will be able to get through this rough patch. Haven't seen her in a while either, since Christmas{?}. Visiting is difficult for me due to finances and lack of transportation. My youngest, Chris, seems to be doing well in London. Although I won't get to see her this year, we have manged to Skype and phone. I really miss those little girls who use to hug me and talk to me all the time when I was struggling. If not for them, I probably wouldn't be here!

Health wise things are going OK, I guess. I'm now use Oxyneo as a pain killer and it's pretty effective. It allows me to get out and walk more and spend the time gardening or working for mom. Unfortunately, when I am lacking sleep it pretty much knocks me out. Although I am in Peri-menopause, I am having hot flashes, night sweats and cold flashes. The migraines are less frequent with the medication changes but I still fight headaches about 3 times a week.  My body is riddled with arthritis and added to the Fibromyalgia it tends to send me for the pain killers too often for my liking.

Well, guess I should try and sleep. Otherwise I will spend the next 24 hours battling a deeper Depression.


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