Understanding My Depression

I grew up being sexually abused, in a household with alcoholic parents, who were quite often emotionally absent. I have been used and abused by many men/boys. That is where my Depression started. However, I feel I have dealt with many of the issues dealing with that stuff.
I lost a child when I was 16. I was an alcoholic for many years during my teens and early twenties. I ran away from home by joining the Armed Forces. I jumped into a marriage because I wanted children. These are issues I have only addressed slightly.
My marriage was abusive. I wound up raising four daughters as a single mother on Welfare. They were taken from me by Child Welfare when they were in their teens, right after my father passed away. Some of these issues I have gone over, but I still have trouble with my father's death.
I developed health issues after the birth of my daughters. So, mid-twenties. These have gotten worse over the years to the point they are now disabling. I have a lot of stress and anxiety overr my health. This I have not addressed with anyone.
I developed bad to severe anxieties after my stroke in 2007. It triggered a lot of mental health issues that I thought I had gotten under control. My social phobia has increased greatly since then, exacerbated by events on Facebook. As well, the appearance of other personalities became evident after the stroke, at least that is when I became fully aware of it.
I have moved a lot since my children were taken away, several times being without a permanent residence.

However, lately I feel my Depression has been worsened by Peri-menopause, empty nest syndrome and family issues. The greatest family issue being my relationship with my mother. As well, I just feel like I've lost myself somewhere along the way.
Even when I find someone to talk to, there is a problem with my being clear in my speaking and writing. Meaning I find that I am often misunderstood and people never seem to take the time to ask what I really mean by what I say/write.

Depression, the black hole of my life, has been present since I was very young. There have been times where I felt I was done with Depression, but, it's never lasted for a long time. The exception being when I was completely shut down in my teens. After my parents divorced, I somehow managed to black out my past and turn off my emotions. Even though I didn't seem to be depressed, I didn't really enjoy life because I felt nothing.

So, I restarted counseling  and hope to figure out how to get out of the Depression and stay out. If that is not possible, I'd at least like to be able to enjoy life, instead of wishing I was dead most of the time. Along with counseling the psychiatrist increased my antidepressants. This has, at least, managed to decrease the suicidal thoughts and the death wishing.

Mostly, I wonder if I will ever truly be able to "get over" the past and move on to a future of hope.