History Part 2: Childhood Memories.

I am always amazed by people who say they remember clearly things from when they were children, as young as 2.
For myself, my childhood memories are patchy and I'm often unclear of the age at which the memory occurred. I am going to write some memories out but memories are subjective - meaning how I remember a certain event may not be how others remember it.

My memories from the "old house":
This was basically a cabin with a few chicken coops pushed up and attached for bedrooms.
My earliest memories are more tactile than clear.
I remember the smell of mom baking bread in the wood stove. I remember the warmth of the stove. I remember watching my mom bake a lot and stoke the wood stove and the comfort of the smells.
I remember the ice on the floor getting out of bed in the winter to use the "pee pot". I remember how warm, comfortable and crowded that king-sized bed was with 4 of us sharing it. The 4 youngest shared the bed and the 3 oldest got a triple deck bunk bed.
I remember the pot belly heater in the main room. I remember mom telling us to "look out for Marty" every time we opened the root cellar. I remember the dank, musty smell of the cellar and seeing the boys or mom getting canning out of it. I really remember the spiders!
I remember an uncle being drunk and breaking my favorite stool. Not sure which uncle, either George or Joe, both gone now. I remember the parties my parents sometimes had and of course, sneaking drinks.
I remember the outhouse and how frickin' cold it was in winter.
I remember we had a chicken coop and collecting eggs with mom.
I remember the boot room and getting ready for school.
I remember when the dug the basement for the new house. My brother Rick, martin and I collected frogs out of the hole and got in heck for it:)
I remember sledding down the hill and how fun it all was.

I think my sharpest memory, and the one I "blocked out" for most of my life, is the last memory I have of the "old house". That one is explained in "A History Part 1 under The Day It All Went To Hell".

Memories from the "new house":
This was a house my parents had brought to the farm. A 2 story with 3 bedrooms, a proper kitchen and living room and a bathroom.
Mostly I try not to think too much about this house. The best times were had outside of it.
A good memory is when they put the chimney in. The youngest of us kids use to sneak down the hole from the top floor to the kitchen or sometimes even to the basement.
My dad putting drawers into the walls of the bedrooms is another good memory.
There may be 1 or 2 more but I think I'll save them for another note:)
The Bad ones will definitely go into another!

A History - Part 1

My life in a nutshell:

First memories are of our small farmhouse near Gunn.
Warm, happy, crowded,busy.
Remember my mom baking bread in the wood stove and smiling.
Remember My brother always falling in the root cellar when the trap door was open.
Remember the smell of the root cellar being moldy,musty and yet inviting.
Remember waking up in the winter to ice on the floor of what was our bedroom.
Our being my 6 siblings and I.
Remember sharing a king size bed with 2 brothers and my sister.
Crowded by comforting!
Remember my mom saying the place was built from 2 chicken coops pushed up to the existing structure to make the bedrooms.
Remember the pot bellied stove for heat:)
Remember some parties my parent's use to have.
Remember my Uncle Joe breaking my favorite stool when he was drunk.
Remember I wanted to be around the adults and older kids a lot.
Then remember the day it went all to hell!

The Day!
I guess I was about 4 or 5 years old - don't know for sure.
I wanted to see what the older boys were up to in the barn - even though I was not suppose to go up there.
I tried sneaking up to the hayloft but guess I wasn't quiet enough.
My brother must have heard me because he convinced me to come closer.
There were 5 boys in the hayloft - 2 brothers and 3 cousins.
They were looking at porn magazines my dad had.
They told me this is what mommies and daddies do when they love each other.
Then they asked me if I wanted to be a good mommy.
I did I told them!
They said I needed to know how to do what was in the books.
Then they took turns....
I try not to remember anymore details but sometimes am unsuccessful!
All I remember for sure is those images in front of me on the hay bale.
Kneeling or bending over a hay bale and pain!
I remember shutting down all feeling and wishing myself somewhere else!
I remember being told I could not tell mom or anyone as I was not suppose to be in the barn.
I hid for a while in the bushes and cried until I couldnot cry anymore and then promised myself I would never cry again!