Constant Pain

Lately I am in constant pain, even the painkillers I am taking are not working well enough to dull the pain anymore. The thing about the pain is it is just exaggerating my depression. It is supposedly caused by arthritis in my spine and Fibromyalgia {which the doctors up here do not believe is a valid diagnosis}. However, since I had the diagnosis from reputable doctors in Edmonton, I am seriously considering looking for a better doctor, even if it means monthly trips on the bus to the city.
The pain is really driving me nuts lately. I am unable to sleep for more than 4 hours because when I roll over the pain wakes me up, even though I am on medication to sleep and painkillers. Also, I am unable to focus long on any one thing , especially at the computer because the chair at the computer actually tends to trigger the pain more. I wish I could afford a decent computer chair, the one I have is from Take it or Leave it. I can't walk very far or very long on the walker because, besides the pain, my right leg goes numb from the hip down.
The pain does seem less when I "let" one of the "others" take over for a bit but it is still there. I am short tempered, depressed and even having suicidal thoughts. I wish I could get my doctors and family to understand how much pain I am in. Mind you, if I burn or hurt myself it does distract me from the back and hip pain but more pain is not a good substitute for a good nights sleep and a pain free day!
The last few days I've even considered severing my spinal cord at the waist; but, I'm too much of a chicken to actually do it, at least at this time. It's really too bad that I don't believe it is my right to kill myself but God's decision. Otherwise I really would commit suicide. That would make some people happy but would do too much harm to others.
I wonder if anyone knows how to live with constant pain and not wish for death. Several members of my family do live with constant pain but most of them still think about death, either like my mom... hoping not to live much longer or like my brother ....who puts himself in dangerous situations that could cause death or like me ....with suicidal thoughts.
I just wish I knew what the point was!